2 Months of Crazy – A Big Fat F For This Stay-At-Home Mom

I’m just finishing up my second month staying at home with my 11-month old twin boys. I wrote a post about my very first day here.

Since that first day, things may or may not have gone a little bit downhill.

What’s been going on in the Buckman-Shaar household? Where do I start?

In the last 60 days, we’ve hosted a baby blessing for a close friend, planned and executed a Great Gatsby-themed fundraiser for almost 100 people, hosted a vegan potluck brunch for 50, hosted a fundraising event for our local Equality Florida folks (gotta do our part to help get gay marriage passed in Florida), and lord…I don’t even remember what other events. They were all fabulous, and I wanted to do them all.

During those 60 days, I also went to Chicago to a blogging conference for a week, and decided to throw myself into this blogging business.

We had three different sets of house guests in our home.

We bought an above-ground pool off of Craigslist and have been working our butts off making it nice and neat and lovely. What I thought would be a small job (how hard can it be to slap up a pool?) turned into an entire backyard excavation project.

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I could go on, but the purpose of this post is not to brag “Hey, I’ve so GOT this stay-at-home thing. I do 20 Pinterest projects every day, BAM.”

It’s actually the opposite. If this were a job, I think I can officially say that I failed my 2-month review of staying at home.

Why? I did not meet my goals and objectives. I left work to be able to spend time with the boys. To really enjoy this. To do it. I dreamed of play dates (I’ve had one) and trips to the library for book time (nope) and really nesting in my home. (this place is trashed.)

Instead, what happened is I filled my plate up to overflowing, because I could.  They were all things I loved, but it didn’t matter. I heard something wise at the BlogHer conference I went to in Chicago. The things you say “no” to are more important than the things you say “yes” to.  Saying no to things you don’t want to do is the easy part. Do you want to travel through Texas on a cramped sweaty-smelling Greyhound bus? No thank you.

But, saying no to things you are passionate about – that make you feel on fire – that is the hard part.

But we have to do it. Why?

Because if we don’t, we end up depleted, exhausted, cranky. And that doesn’t much make sense, does it?

So, my challenge for myself over the next 60 days is to chill the fuck out. I mean seriously. There are no awards to be won for staying busy. I have worked so hard to be able to be present in my life – filling my hours with things and beings that I love. I have got to turn things down – to say no more often. And I need to stop fancying myself an unpaid event planner. My new mantra is this “Just because you CAN do it, doesn’t mean you should.”

Why? Because this is how the boys look when I fill my plate up too much:

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Because I want more moments like these right here:

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This post was in response to a writing prompt that asks you to talk about a current challenge you’re undergoing. You can read more on this topic from my lovely blogger friends here.

 

 

 

5 thoughts on “2 Months of Crazy – A Big Fat F For This Stay-At-Home Mom

  1. Cynthia

    I have several responses to this. First, I am exhausted just reading all the things you’ve hosted lately. Second, I had to chuckle about your “failure to meet goals and objectives,” because just last week my (Type A) husband was suggesting to (stay-at-home) me that I needed to set some goals and objectives and make an agenda for my days (ha). Finally, it sounds like you might need to dial it back a bit, but if you love event planning, make some time to do that occasionally. Spending time with your children doing things for them is a wonderful objective, but doing that alone will make you crazy.

    Reply
  2. Amber

    Whew! I’m exhausted for you! I long to be a stay at home mom, but fear I’d fall into the same pattern you just described. I have SO many projects & ideas. It’s difficult to just stay in the moment. Those moments are so fleeting though. I’m glad you are giving yourself a break and hope to see more pictures of those cuties enjoying the calmer, unplanned moments with you.

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  3. Carly

    A week in to the life of a SAHM and I’m already filling my “spare time” with all kinds of projects. The whole point was to spend more quality time with my baby girl. You make me laugh because I can relate.

    Reply

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