Day 1 – My New Life as a Stay-at-Home-Mom

The real title of this post should be “My first blog post after becoming a stay at home mom wherein I document in painstaking detail every single thing I did today so that I can remember this day.”

But, that’s not search friendly, so I’ll just call it “Life of a Stay At Home Mom – My First Day Home”, or something important and dull like that. Steph wants me to call it “My First Day as a Housewife”. She’s rude.

So, let me begin. Today is July 1st, and it’s my first official day being a superfly “Stay at Home Mom”. Since I have tons of time now that I don’t work, I decided to take a break from eating my vegan bonbons to write out what today consisted of. You know, so that I can remember when I’m old and feeble, which will likely be next year.

Here’s the day:

6:45am: Woke up rested after a glorious uninterrupted sleep from at least 3:30am on and demanded asked politely for Steph to get me some coffee. I grabbed my To Do List that I had written the night before so that I could stay focused, HEATHER.Β  I realized that I had not written a single thing about the tasks that had to be done for the boys – bottles washed, diapers washed. SMH. I’m a real winner.

7:15am: Played with Liam and August while hanging out in the bed, and then went to go get my own damn coffee.

7:30am: Brought the boys downstairs and hooked them up with some breakfast. Who’s your momma???

8:00am: Got dressed in my running clothes because TODAY IS MY FIRST DAY AS A SAHM AND I NEED TO PROVE SOMETHING. My new iPhone armband and I fought. The short line to the earplugs made me have to run with my head cocked to one side, all crooked. The long one dangled and tried to get me all tripped up.

The boys look like they had fun, right? Especially August.



8:15am-9:00 am Ran/Walked/Stumbled around confused for 2 miles with the boys. Umm, yes, it did take me 45 minutes to get through 2 miles! Might have something to do with the fact that I stopped about every 2 blocks to try to adjust my headphones and armband. I also may have gotten lost in my neighborhood, but that’s another post.

9:00am – Arrived home just in time to do a Skype conference call, where I debuted as a crazy beet. I knew I had a conference call, but didn’t realize it would be video, and I was bright red and ugly from my run. Nobody ever said this would all be peaches!
The boys were fantastic, and didn’t get into any trouble at all whilst I was on my call.


9:30am – Played with boys and sliced up some fruit for Steph’s and my breakfast. I’m doing the Whole Foods Cleanse again because I like wine a little too much.

10:15am – Uh oh! Have to leave soon for a marketing meeting at the Down Syndrome Association of Jacksonville. Quick shower, got together my lunch and stuff for boys. HEATHER, DO NOT REMEMBER YOUR OWN LUNCH AND FORGET TO BRING THEIRS.

11:15am – Race over to downtown area and only got there about 10 minutes late! First time out to a meeting with both boys! Did pretty well – I participated in the meeting while feeding myself and them! Decided I need to travel with my own Dust Buster because we leave a trail wherever we go. I’m not used to this and I feel really guilty, like I don’t care about trashing other people’s spaces. I apologized about 43 times.


2:00pm Head back home, trying to keep The Lion awake until he gets home, since he has a tendency to not go down if he’s woken up abruptly. I make it to about a half mile away from home.

2:30pm Success! Both babies down.

2:35pm August decides he’d like to get up and have no nap, thank you very kindly.

2:36-3:45Β  August and I hang out in the playroom. I start working on the silent auction that I’m doing for an upcoming fundraiser, and start gathering addresses for the invite that I’m about 4 weeks late in sending. Oops, my bad. August keeps looking at me like MOTHER, HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THAT YOU ARE NOW A SAHM MOM AND ARE SUPPOSED TO GAZE INTO MY EYES?” I explain to him that I have events that need planning.


3:45 The Lion joins us and we have a snack. I discover that August has a trick or two up his sleeve. I refer to this video as “Snack Time and August is Being Shady”.

PS. I just started using YouTube for my own videos. Here’s the welcome email I got. August looks smashed. And yet they are proud of me.

Screen Shot 2013-07-01 at 8.16.42 PM

Moving on, then.

4:00Β  Steph’s mom comes and hangs out with the boys. This allows me to unload the dishwasher, fold a load of laundry, start a new one, talk to Miss Ophelia, make plans to go shopping for the fundraiser, and generally get some shit done.

5:15 Dude. The boys are cranky and hungry. Steph goes to take her mom back to the Assisted Living Facility and I feed them dinner (Rutabagas and Spinach – YUM). Then, it’s upstairs to give them both baths. They have started playing in the bathtub lately, so instead of it just being a task, we let them hang out and just enjoy themselves. August looks concerned about the junk in Liam’s trunk.


6:15 Boys are dressed in their pj’s but still no Steph. So, I prop up Lion’s bottle on the bed and hold August while feeding him. Steph arrives just as Lion sits bolt upright on the bed and smiles big. {Please note, this is not cute. He is supposed to be feeding himself to sleep.} “Excellent!”, I announce. “Take the boy!”. Steph brings him into the nursery and turns on the sound machine to feed him and put him to sleep. Meanwhile I keep feeding August, who’s eyelids weigh about 347 pounds each.

6:45pm The Boyz are OUT. Time to head downstairs to make dinner and write this post.

As of now, it’s 7:30pm. Not bad for my first day! The boys ate three meals AND A SNACK. They wore real clothes. We went on an outing. They behaved during my marketing meeting. I count this all as a smashing success.

And now, the wines. Mommy loves the wines. The wines are very, very good to me. Notice that the wines are next to my To Do List. The one that had no baby items on it. Wine keeps me focused, so I am finishing up my list whilst I drink my wines.



That’s all I’ve got! And the glorious part is that I get to wake up tomorrow and do it all over again. Perfection! xoxox

PS. Not that many people read the blog, but I’m going to act like I’m famous and important and dedicate this to my new friends Anne and Emily. They will be having twin boys soon, and this is the kind of schizznit they have to look forward to! Emily is on bed rest in the hospital, so hopefully this post will cheer her up a bit, knowing what she has to look forward to πŸ™‚

14 thoughts on “Day 1 – My New Life as a Stay-at-Home-Mom

  1. Amy

    Ok I am so, so glad that someone else has problems with the armband/earphones thing. It never, ever goes smoothly for me. I can’t imagine doing it with a stroller.

  2. Emily

    I’ve never had a blog post dedication before!!!! I feel so special!!!! I’m serious that literally makes my day:) You have reminded annie & me that after 26 days in the hospital so far (and a butt-load to go) there is a life changing reward at the end:) πŸ™‚ While reading your post I felt like I was there with you through your first day as a SAHM! I can’t wait to read more.
    Ps. I especially enjoyed the video. My two favorite parts were Liam helping himself to August’s snack… And August’s crafty technique… I laughed out loud!

  3. Spring

    Donna’s favorite quote: “I have the only housewife who doesn’t do housework!” I keep telling her a stay at home mom (to triplets none the less) is not the same as a housewife!!! She just doesn’t get it!
    Well congrats on your first day as a stay at home mom! You are totally going to rock this gig!!! πŸ™‚
    It’s SO sweet of you to dedicate this post to Emily & Anne, I’m sure they are going to rock as moms of multiples too!

  4. Steph

    Love. You left out the part where you ate your Bon bons. Like Spring does. πŸ˜‰ I think the ear phones don’t work right because your head is too round.

  5. Nicole Hale

    I’m loving this!!! I’m glad I’m not the only SAHM that never gets anything done on my to-do list! πŸ™‚ And yes, getting EVERYONE dressed and fed 3x a day IS a major accomplishment! (Thank you very much!) Just wait until they start school! LOL!!!

  6. Angie

    Stopped by from Bloggy Moms because any blogger who has a drink name in their title should be a friend of mine. πŸ™‚ That’s a pretty impressive first day! May want to invest in Bluetooth earbuds – in my brief stint as a SAHM, I bought those and preserved my sanity. In fact, I still use them for audiobooks when I clean, and the noise from the little people living in my house magically disappears.

  7. valerie

    Love the video! I’m impressed. It sounds like you got so much done. I figure if at least one of us (usually not me) gets fully bathed and everyone has some kind of fruit or vegetable in their mouths at some point in the day, it’s gotta be a win. Great blog

  8. DCHomewares

    You are one busy stay-at-home mom, but obviously you have some kind of system going on :)! I wish I could say slow down but with a couple of boys, that would take time and a lot of getting used to, first! lol!

  9. Angie

    I’m a new stay at home mom of 5 month old twins girls. This blog is awesome, hilarious and exactly accurate! Lol

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  11. Carly

    Awesome and hilarious. I love your honesty, and I’m impressed you did all that with twins. My girl is 9-months-old and I’m lucky if I get a shower and dinner made. I had my first week as a SAHM – and I’m also blogging about the transition at I’d love to chat with you, since I’m new to the blogosphere.


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